Tuesday, July 15, 2008

ahh the overnight pout

How fun you are

Here's the story, Monday was great, perfect. Anteneh even said "Monday good, Sunday not so Good," then the crap hit the fan. He was eating an apple and teasing Addis with it. Mom said 4 times to stop and he wouldn't. He became indignant threw the apple on the floor and ran to try to leave on his bike. Mom went after him and grabbed him because last time he ran off we couldn't find him so he isn't allowed to leave the house during his pouting fits. He was fighting her, Addis was screaming and I was just trying to wash the dishes to keep the peace. Then I took Addis, and Anteneh made 3 or 4 more attempts to flee (Damn you 3 exits in our house). We told him he could go to the basement, to his room, to mom's room but he just couldn't go outside because it's not safe. She tried "time-in" and literally was having to drag him into her room. Then he locked her out. She was like oh hell no and he left and finally we were like okay you can leave and I opened the garage door, let him get about two steps out and got in my car to follow him. I don't care if he is mad and "hates us" at that moment, I just keep imagining him running away and getting kidnapped or hit by a car or something horrible like that. I followed him for about 5 minutes then he got tired of it and went back inside. He ran into his room, Mom was freaking out and starts calling every "adoption expert" (aka other older children adopters), and ethiopians we know. Finally someone hooks us up with a random Ethiopian lady who starts talking to him. At first he won't listen but then he realizes she's speaking in Amharic and talks to her. She basically told him that we love him and it's okay to be mad but you can't leave the house because there are people who want to hurt you. Then he continued pouting, doing things to annoy us, being loud while addis was asleep and the such. Finally when I was going to bed I asked him if he wanted to sleep with me and I got the shoulder shrug (oh I HATE the shoulder shrug) and he came and slept with me. He woke up in the same pissy mood wouldn't talk or look at mom. I had a horrible migraine so I took some meds, slept it off and when I woke up he was fine. Hungry but fine.

THEEEEN the basically same thing happened last night but with a dinner roll and our dog. He was teasing her with it and mom told him no he ran away wouldn't eat dinner kept shoulder shrugging at us. Finally about 3 hours into it he came into mom's room and apologized so yay it didn't last all day!


Julia & Brad said...

Ooooo! That DOES sound like fun!!! ;-)

Lisa said...

What's up with that!#??+&#

Christy said...

Maybe an electric shock collar or a cow prod will work! He'd at least have a different expression on his face!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I hate to say that reading this makes me feel better about our 3yr old shoulder-shrugger & pouter.. ;-) sorry! LOL - At least she can't get out of the house. She's cool with me but has been mean to Brian the past few days, it's breaking his heart. :-( but we know it will pass.
Just beware! We've caught ourselves shrugging our own shoulders and grunting instead of talking!!! It's catching!!!!!!! :-)

Nikko and Matt said...

Sheesh. Not sure what to say here. No experience with this. I'm sure it will pass at some point as he's such a great kid, although maybe not at the moment.

Bennett said...

wow, Grace and Miranda, I can see how hard this must be.....I have seen this happen before w/a friend who adopted an older child from the state we live in........he was around your sons age, and very upset that he was taken from his former placement and adopted by her. He would fight her if she tried to correct him, he would run away, and do things to hurt anything my frined which is his mom loved and cared a/b, like for instance the dog, cat, her clothes he would cut and throw in the trash, she got him some help, and eventually the tantrums went away, recently she showed him a video of his old behavior and he hates even thinking and seeing that he could ever hurt him hand in there, I have seen it get better.


GG said...

ahh the overnight pout. I love that one. And the refusal to speak or make eye contact. Those are all good little tricks they try to pull on us to test us; to test our love, to test our fortitude. Eventually they learn that it's a whole lot easier just to get along and not treat your loving parent like crap. It does happen... eventually. Thanks for sharing. I personally know it's not easy to share the not so pretty aspects of adoption, but it's so necessary.

Chris said...

wow !!! He would have fit in our family :) I have one 14 yo who is a little similar right now !!!!
I am sure he will get better . Like you said he can do it but not run away!!!
That is good that you found someone who can talk to him .
He will think about it someday and be embarassed.
Hang in there , he is worth it :) Cutie pie :)

Anonymous said...

Aww I am sorry you guys. Keep it up though, he is just testing you. Even though Mayla is 3, she was VERY mature for her age. Her specialties were the pout, shrug, hitting us in the face and spitting on us.'s funny to think about now, because she is a total different child. But it's not fun while you are in the middle of it. Keep your heads up and know you are not alone.


Anonymous said...

Oh and any new news on Vivi? I am way too busy to read the group, but let me know.


The Wilkinson's said...

Can't wait for my "pouter" to come home! Hang in there guys. It has to get better..............right?

Peculiar Smith Family said...

This must be so tough! But I know from previous personal experience and postings from other adopters of older kids that each day and week and month will get better. Please remind me that I said that in a few weeks when I'm home with our girls and losing it! :-) Rebecca S.

Sandee said...

Oh, Miranda and Grace. My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how tough this is. I know when my older son gets a mood and I just have to ride it out.

I am praying for you all. Hang in there. I know the road is rough for a while. BUT you have done a wonderful thing expanding your family...and Ant will grow into a wonderful young man, due to your love, patience and persistance.

We have read about the testing...and the grief of change. A lot easier to read than live through.

Hang on dear ones...keep loving ...this too will pass.

Abba, Pour love, peace into Miranda and them to walk this painful road their hearts lead them too, much like the Road your son walked for us. Bless them I pray with days, then weeks, then months of peace.