Jackson doesn't get a lot of face time here. For such a handsome kid, he is notoriously camera shy and runs everytime he sees a camera. He must also find it hard to compete with the precious little girls everyone is always so interested in. I sit here, on the eve of my son's last day of his first year of school and think of how far we have come in these months. Did he tell his big sister that she is going to get fat in Italy, while we were skyping yesterday, well yes, but he also has asked me 20 times today if she is really upset and that he didn't mean it.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
It has not been an easy year. It still isn't "easy" but when I think back to the beginning I know that we have come so very far.
In the beginning this poor boy was an angry, disappointed, hurt, miserable young man. He would run away on his bike at least 3 times a week. In fact he ran away on the morning of his baby sisters surgery, I had to have Miranda check Addis into the surgi center because I was driving around searching for him that rainy morning. He ran, he shouted, he cried, he pushed us both physically and emotionally away from him. He isolated himself, he didn't try at school, he was disrespectful and disobeyed me at every turn. He would glare at me with such malice and hate, that I actually hid all the knives in the house at one point. We had to turn the doors around so he couldn't lock them, had to latch the windows so he wouldn't go out of them. He would give us the silent treatment for days at a time.
He frustrated Miranda to the point of her looking to move out, because she was so miserable in her own home. More than once she said to me that I had ruined her family. I agreed at the lowest points. I honestly didn't know where to turn, counseling didn't help, positive male role models didn't have any impact at all.
And then...one day he quit running. Then one day, he gave me silent treatment for a few hours and APOLOGIZED!
At the beginning of the school year he would come home and cry that he hated school and had no friends. He sat by himself in the cafeteria, by himself on the playground, in PE.....
Now, he is the Belle of the Ball!! Here is his social calendar for the week--best friend spent the night Friday night, soccer tournament with his friends all day Saturday, Sunday movie with soccer coach, Monday swimming with his best friend and us, Tuesday soccer practice, Wednesday lunch out with best friend then a swimming party at classmates house, Thursday lunch with a different friend, and then soccer practice, Friday swimming with friends and family, Saturday basketball practice then going to play games with a soccer friend. WOW right??
We still struggle with motivation, if he tried he would likely be one of the best players in town, any age group. Now he is a great player who doesn't like to run. He does fine at school, but doesn't push himself. I am going to send him to tutoring this summer, to try and catch up a little more.
He worships his baby sister Addis and is learning to like Eyerus. She will grow on him. He loves animals. He misses his big sister like crazy, but doesn't know how to express is, so it comes across as annoying boy. She is the first thing he asks about when I pick him up from anywhere.
On Mothers day he actually said "You are a good mom, and I am happy that you picked me'!!! Tissues anyone??
He told me I am a good mom today. It was because I let him go to the swimming party, but whatever, right?? When Addis threw up tonight, he helped me clean it up and gave me the helpful hint that maybe she shouldn't eat so many grapes :)
I can honestly say I love him today, and I think I can say that he loves me. I hope that it only gets better and better from here, and I also hope that I don't forget, when I am angry with him because he didn't take out the trash, that at least I haven't had to hide my knives in months!!!
Posted by SisterMom at 6:33 PM